theThanatos

Contained by these walls of blue, In this comforting box, I am away from you. Under these stars, the coruscating orb, Of the blanketing sky, I sit in awe, absorbing life. Of raindrops, of snow, of sunlight, I know, Are angelic reflections of blight: We smother ourselves in self-depreciating hate. Time to let loose, Time to cease fate, Time to diminish distaste. Upon these limitations, beauty lies: Sweet and serene, Beauty dies. fin

Coming full circle, The walk, the night, the thoughts-- Tasting the bitter fear that Constant failures have taught. Translucent  wishes to record over the past, Perhaps futile, perhaps successful, Not knowing how long this limbo will last. Replacement is the cure that needs to insist, For being stuck in the middle is so far from bliss. "Eyes like the sky, and mind like a twin" I need something else for which to think. I face the demons that preceded as angels, The hell that fell from heaven: Memories are my greatest flaw-- I need a present and a future to continue my cause. fin

Tired of patterns, Tired of questions to which No answers can be wrung. These eyes see only pessimism, now, That the Winter months have come And gone. I wished for something that I knew could never be: Too far into the future is hindsight, For the truth to be seen. Oh, the sun paints a fresh layer Over what is the past, Blocking up memories, moving on too        fast. I need salvation, a place of refuge, But the new born months seem too quick to refuse. Oh, I miss the times when I was moving on... For those times seem so long, long ago. fin

I am counting through the memories, The popcorn flavoured film in my head, I see the non-existent sun, The bottomless hopes that came undone: This body is there, reliving that youth That seemed too good to match the truth. Oh why do these memories smell so Sweetly, still? Just that chance to steal away All of the mistakes and all of the shame, But this "burdened" heart could not rise to the game. There was too much heartbreak, Too much time spent asleep, than awake, To utter the truth I yearned for. I am exactly where I stood three years prior: Learning nothing, breathing everything I shouldn't. fin

Three Firsts And it is but these days That I recall so crystalline in my head; It seems as though the blossoming of new Brings forth with it, heartbreaks from the dead. And it is but these senses That render me so still, That when the time comes to crunch, I'm still paying my hearts bill. So perhaps time still offers hope, Amongst the three firsts I have had, And although these yesterdays dazzle in flame, I surely know this pattern won't drive us Completely mad. fin

Is it but a gift I hold, That life is pre-determined By the irrationality in this complex mould? I see the opportunity, And I know the true path, But logic is baffled by the swelling of my heart. Do I need reason, do I need this? Do I want security or... Something else? Write me a sonnet and the screw it up Paint a beautiful sunset and rip it up. This heart doesn't know the answer, But it knows the feeling that stings, And mindless controversy just Wreaks havoc on those previous things. Give me a reason, just give me this, I don't have security, I want something else. fin

Perhaps if I am destined To cause controversial dilemma, And endless sin, Then a murder or two would fit in, Perfectly. Perhaps torching innocents, And breaking stability down to nought Would serve as a more rewarding thought? And if that were to break more hearts, A "sincere" apology would be a good start Into becoming a better person? God forbid, I follow this lifestyle further! For it seems that this "lifestyle" is deemed Worse than murder. And if "unnatural" is the term used to describe, Then why, pray, is this in nature? Amongst the land, the sea, the sky? Why should a person choose to live such a lie, When they give,